Moron Daily News

A man walks into a convenience store with all the confidence that  having a gun gives a person.

Too bad he tosses the gun to the store clerk. Confidence gone.

Seriously though…why do we still get these?

And they say that our children aren’t learning the basics in school. Where on earth would they get that idea?

Courtesy of FacebookFail.com

Now this really takes the cake.

A young man named Jacob Walker wanted an iPad. Obviously he didn’t have the dough for it, so he opted for the next best thing.

A barter on Craigslist using his iPod and an enormous amount of weed.

Naturally, it didn’t take long for the local cops to catch wind of this incredible deal and they arranged the meeting. Poor Jacob is the trusting sort and showed up with both items in hand.

He was immediately arrested.

Oh please tell me this guy isn’t serious. The poor, poor kid…

It’s a shame He-man’s disappearance only made the ticker. What…that’s not news??

A policeman patrolling Gwinnett County attempted to stop a green Chrysler Sebring that had managed to break several traffic laws while in his line of sight. However, rather than stop for the cop, the driver, Charles Byrd, jumped out of the car and took off running.

Byrd managed to get to a house and even locked the door, but it was too late. More policemen were quickly called to the scene. Given this guy’s suspicious actions, who is surprised?

I guess the large amounts of police camped on the front lawn managed to convince Byrd to open the door. Too bad for him he was followed by a virtual pot cloud.

Pot cloud = instant arrest.

So how much trouble was Chuck really in?

Check this out:

After obtaining a search warrant, police found and seized 69 marijuana plants in varying stages of maturity, 1,490 grams of processed pot, and marijuana-cultivating equipment.

In addition to drug charges, Byrd was charged with driving with an expired tag and no headlights after dark, making an improper turn, and not having his license with him while driving. (source)

All that green and paraphernalia racked up to an impressive $327,000 worth of dope.

And he blew it all by running directly to his pot growing house while trying to avoid a paltry DUI.

This young man didn’t really think this one through and proves it by crashing right through someone’s car’s window.

And he’s gettin’ no help from the bystanders.

Caution: The commentary, while funny, does use strong language. So if that offends you, don’t watch it!

So there’s drunk and then there’s drunk. This past March, Donald Wolfe, 55, explored all the avenues available to him in that second category.

At 3 pm at a Thursday afternoon (seriously, this guy must have no life), Donald was spotted by a Pittsburgh kneeling by the side of the road, evidently very busy. His mission?

Resuscitating a dead possum.

That’s right. This man was performing mouth-to-mouth on roadkill.

Trooper Jamie Levier stated that Donald was “extremely intoxicated” and “did have his mouth in the area of the animal’s mouth, I guess.”

Nasty.