Moron Daily News

This young gentleman had himself in a whole heap o’ trouble and thought he could get out of it if only he could skedaddle fast enough. Too bad for him that court houses usually have bullet proof glass windows.
His little attempt cost him. His bond jumped from a hefty $50,000 to an astronomical $1.5 million.
Ouch.

Unmarked vehicles, stolen cars..heck, maybe even a taxi – all could be better escape choices than the one Mark McAvinew made. Mark made the poor, poor choice of robbing a Metcalf bank in Kansas City, then made the even poorer choice of driving his company van to the heist.
Nothing says “anonymous” like your company logo [...]

Here we are – we made it through another year.  In keeping with tradition, this is the time to look back over the year at all our accomplishments and failures.
In this case, failures.
So I present to you, in no particular order, Moron Daily News’ Top 10 Morons Of 2009:
10. Woman Parks SUV On Top Of [...]

As I understand it, the story here is that two thieves on a scooter snatched a woman’s purse right out of her hands. They thought they were going to get away with their criminal behaviour, but unfortunately for them, a bicycle-riding man saw the whole thing. As the hoodlums motor past him, he calmly gets [...]

This young man took it upon himself to burglarize a small Apple store. Subtly not being his strong suit, the thief backed his truck through the front entrance of the store, damaging the framing beyond repair.
Surveillance video captured the action as he attempts to grab the display computers. This didn’t go done quite as [...]

The guy wasn’t so smart for committing a crime in the first place, but he sure did have a backup plan!

There’s always been certain ways to spot a fair-weather friend. Many will avoid you when your having a bad day, or perhaps they will only hang around when you can afford to buy them dinner.
Or you discover they’ve been stealing from you.
Keith Miller found out the hard way one day when he was browsing [...]

One 28 year-old couple decided to combine their parental duties with their love of crime. The packed up the kids and took their 4 and 6 year old children for a little crime spree through the San Fernando Valley.
They made their first criminal stop at a Rite Aid, then hit a CVS. However, either third [...]

Yeah, I’m thinkin’ that wasn’t going to work.
BOULDER, Colo. – Authorities say a man in Colorado apparently tried to steal an ATM by hauling it away with a truck.
The plan didn’t work. The alleged attempted theft of the free-standing, outdoor ATM in Boulder set off an alarm early Wednesday morning. When police arrived they found [...]

The weather turns cold in Michigan and fall is the time of year when the locals begin indulging in the habit of starting their cars long before they actually leave the house. Tim Music was doing exactly that one morning, but when he left the house in order to drive his son to school, the [...]