Moron Daily News

Ah, nothing sounds more relaxing than a stroll through a thick cactus bed. Even better? Take that stroll while in the buff.
Yeah, I didn’t think that sounded great either.
But that’s exactly what 19 year-old Oscar Mues did. A concerned citizen spotted the nude man trapped in a cactus stand behind some security fencing and called [...]

Here we are – we made it through another year.  In keeping with tradition, this is the time to look back over the year at all our accomplishments and failures.
In this case, failures.
So I present to you, in no particular order, Moron Daily News’ Top 10 Morons Of 2009:
10. Woman Parks SUV On Top Of [...]

Now here’s a hilarious use of 911 – calling the cops on yourself. In this 911 recording, an unidentified woman calls to report a drunk driver only to admit that she’s the one driving drunk.

Woman calls 911 to report herself as drunk driver sound bite  911 Call sound bites

They picked the wrong people alright. These guys messed with…transvestites? But don’t let the high heels and fancy dress fool you. Both of these dudes who look like ladies are trained cage fighters who were attending a fancy dress stag party. They delivered the smackdown hard, proving you can be tough and look fabulous in [...]

And, of course, coffee is hot and airlines peanuts contain nuts. The sad part is that someone out there needed to be told these things.

This just proves that when you’ve been drinking, anywhere, and I mean anywhere, can serve as an impromptu bed. A French teenager had been out drinking and partying at the Saint Nolff music festival. While making his way home, he stopped to catch some zzz’s – right on the railway tracks.
As he lay passed out [...]

Keith Cullen and Paul Wiggins were able to get into a Swansea drinks depot, but they couldn’t make their escape once their illegal deed was done. While trucking out more than £700 (1,149 USD) worth of alcohol, causing approximately £1,400 (2,298 USD) worth of damage to the store, they decided to sample the wares. I [...]

Police sure are the helpful type. They were even kind enough to stop John Campbell to let him know he had left his beverage on the trunk of his car.
Oops. I think I made that situation more positive that it actually was. In reality, John was pulled over when the cops became suspicious of him [...]

Check this out – a noticably drunken man was stopped by police in Athens, TN when they noticed him stumbling down the street with women’s panties sticking out from his unzipped fly. While at a neighborhood pool party, the man swiped the underwear from a nearby house. He had over 40 pairs stuffed in his [...]

Once again, we have alcohol making stupid ideas seem great. Or at least, that’s the only excuse I can think of for this man.
After a night out carousing with friends, and drinking what had to be copious amounts of booze, the German man decided it would be a real hoot to cram himself inside a [...]