Moron Daily News

Ah, nothing sounds more relaxing than a stroll through a thick cactus bed. Even better? Take that stroll while in the buff.
Yeah, I didn’t think that sounded great either.
But that’s exactly what 19 year-old Oscar Mues did. A concerned citizen spotted the nude man trapped in a cactus stand behind some security fencing and called [...]

Here we are – we made it through another year.  In keeping with tradition, this is the time to look back over the year at all our accomplishments and failures.
In this case, failures.
So I present to you, in no particular order, Moron Daily News’ Top 10 Morons Of 2009:
10. Woman Parks SUV On Top Of [...]

In Seattle, a drunk man decided to test out his crafty ninja skills by leaping over a 5 foot fence. However, the alcohol decidedly did not make him 10 foot tall and bullet proof.
When attempting this ninja leap, the intoxicated man, instead of soaring majestically over the fence, landed on it and impaled himself on [...]

STRATFORD, Conn – Police in Stratford, Connecticut arrested a man and charged him with burglary and disorderly conduct after he allegedly wandered into a neighbor’s home Sunday night, stripped off his clothes and fell asleep in a 6-year-old’s bed.
26-year-old Teddy Brisseaux was arrested after the child woke his parents and informed them of a strange [...]

Now here’s a hilarious use of 911 – calling the cops on yourself. In this 911 recording, an unidentified woman calls to report a drunk driver only to admit that she’s the one driving drunk.

Woman calls 911 to report herself as drunk driver sound bite  911 Call sound bites

So I guess when a certain type of person reads about someone getting a DUI for driving home on a motorized bar stool, they just start itching to try it out for themselves. This gentleman,Dennis LeRoy Anderson, upped the ante by putting a motor, not on a bar stool, but on his La-Z-Boy.

Now that’s driving [...]

They picked the wrong people alright. These guys messed with…transvestites? But don’t let the high heels and fancy dress fool you. Both of these dudes who look like ladies are trained cage fighters who were attending a fancy dress stag party. They delivered the smackdown hard, proving you can be tough and look fabulous in [...]

In a previous blog, I talked about a hapless thief who stopped for a nap in his victim’s home. This time we get to see the other side of this ongoing game of Cops and Robbers. A US Capitol Police officer, Thomas Patrick McMahon, was found passed out in a drunken stupor in a woman’s [...]

This just proves that when you’ve been drinking, anywhere, and I mean anywhere, can serve as an impromptu bed. A French teenager had been out drinking and partying at the Saint Nolff music festival. While making his way home, he stopped to catch some zzz’s – right on the railway tracks.
As he lay passed out [...]

Kile Wygle was arrested for the operation of a vehicle while intoxicated. However, his choice of vehicles was, should we say, unusual. He was arrested when police arrived on the scene after  he crashed his lawnmower engine-driven barstool. Truly a drunken McGuyver.
He wrecked his barstool, which he claims can drive at speeds up to 38 [...]