Moron Daily News

Unmarked vehicles, stolen cars..heck, maybe even a taxi – all could be better escape choices than the one Mark McAvinew made. Mark made the poor, poor choice of robbing a Metcalf bank in Kansas City, then made the even poorer choice of driving his company van to the heist.
Nothing says “anonymous” like your company logo [...]

One 28 year-old couple decided to combine their parental duties with their love of crime. The packed up the kids and took their 4 and 6 year old children for a little crime spree through the San Fernando Valley.
They made their first criminal stop at a Rite Aid, then hit a CVS. However, either third [...]

Oh vanity, it will certainly get this man in trouble. The British fellow evaded police after robbing a Swansea home, and naturally they posted his mug shot in the local newspapers in an effort to track him down. Matthew Maynard saw his picture in the paper and did what any normal human being on the [...]

Yesterday a man described as “sketchy” walked into a N.Y. Taco Bell brandishing a gun. He pointed it at the cashier and demanded the money in the register. So far, a typical (and unpleasant) robbery.
Then the man walked into the back of the store and asked the manager for a job application.  Unsettled (even though [...]

The average law-abiding citizen probably thinks most criminals are stupid. A guy who tried to break into a woman’s place in the Rainier Valley last night probably isn’t helping the stereotype.Our bumbling would-be crook first tried to use a key to get into the apartment on the 7400 block of Rainier Avenue, suggesting a lack [...]

Jordan Waleski broke into a couple’s Minnesota home this month with hopes of grabbing some quick cash. But his plans for pawning were derailed when the homeowners heard suspicious noises coming from the upstairs portion of their home. Knowing that the area should have been uninhabited at the time, the man of the house went [...]

19 year old Jonathan Parker (no relation to Peter Parker) was busted for burglary earlier this month. He stole two diamond rings worth approximately $3,500. However, the Great Diamond Theft of ‘09 was stopped dead in its tracks when Jon decided to hang out in the victim’s home and check his Facebook account. After (presumably) [...]

MORELIA, Mexico (AP) — Call it the case of the dead cells — both telephones and the ones in the brain. Employees at a Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico say they arrived Tuesday morning to find that the store had been broken into.
An examination of the shop revealed the only items missing were [...]

Aaron Evans, 21, was filmed breaking into the Peugeot 106 in an NCP carpark before making off with a stolen sat-nav.
He not only failed to spot the covert camera filming his every move but had the incriminating tattoo ‘Evans 19.9.87′ on his neck.
Brilliant! Nothing says you’ll have a successful life-in-crime like a highly visible tattoo [...]

Picture this: your usual bank is in the middle of being robbed. What’s the first thing you do? If you’re Annemarie Dooling, you jump on Twitter. Actually, I’m giving her too much credit. She didn’t even notice the bank was being robbed.
The tellers were all very nervous and looked upset,” she said in the e-mail. [...]